Check out Phase 2, my podcast about quitting my job to find more fulfillment in my work life. You can find it on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Below is a transcript of episode 3. If you haven’t heard episode 1 you may want to check that out first.
Last episode, we hit the road starting in Minnesota and travelled through the Badlands and Black Hills in South Dakota, into Grand Teton national park in Wyoming. Along the way we encountered bikers, bears, bison and some bliss on the beaches of Jackson Lake. This episode we’ll continue our journey through Idaho and Oregon en route to our home in Seattle WA.
So far, I haven’t told my 6 and 8 year old kids about my unhappiness at work or about quitting my job. I’m not exactly sure why. I tell myself it’s because I don’t want to worry them about it; kids should be thinking about baseball games and lego blocks, not financial stresses and self fulfillment. Between griping about Covid, social distancing, and the current political situation, we’ve already put so much more on them than I had to deal with as a kid. But I think there’s a deeper reason for not telling them; a kind of shame for not having figured it all out by now – a clear career path and my value in the world. I have this desire to want to have figured out an actual revenue generating plan before I do tell them about it, so that when they ask the question – “Daddy, what are we going to do?” – I can answer with certainty instead of a shrug.
Despite me not telling them anything, they somehow pick up signals. Listen to my 6 year old daughter Leena talking to her “boss” on the hotel telephone in Casper, Wyoming:
While it’s a pretty funny, there’s also something sad about it. The environment parents create for their kids – conscious or not – significantly shapes them into who they’ll become. My own parents had many anxieties about income stability, car accidents, religious persecution – that were likely formed from the trauma in their lives and led to risk aversion. They unwittingly passed some of these anxieties onto my sister and I. I don’t want to pass on negative feelings about work or feelings of dissatisfaction with my life onto my kids. Being a positive model of mental health for them is perhaps the most important reason for me to hit the reset button now.
Games in Jackson
After a few days of marginally roughing it in the Tetons, we were ready for a little civilization. We stopped in Jackson Wyoming right outside of the park to do one of my favorite activities: Lattes and pasteries on the porch of a bakery while playing cards with our kids. Our kids are old enough to play interesting games like Hearts and be competitive. Our 8 year old Kai in particular can crush you if you’re not careful. Playing board and card games is one of the ways we connect with our kids. There are many things you can learn about life through games which we’ve tried to teach our kids: taking calculated risks, strategic thinking, identifying opportunities, creating partnerships. How luck plays a role in your circumstances and how you need to make the best of the hand you’ve been delt rather than wish you had a different hand. And maybe.. there’s a lesson I’m currently learning about knowing when its time to find a new game when you’re losing the game you’re currently in.
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Street art in Boise
Next stop was Boise Idaho where we went to the outdoor Freak Alley Gallery which are a collection of street art murals by local artists. Humans create meaning wherever we go to fit whatever it is we’re looking for. The first image I noticed walking through the gallery was a man strapped to what looked like a dentist chair, staring at 3 screens displaying nuclear mushroom clouds. Robotic arms spoon fed him sludge. Wires connected from his brain led to factories labelled “Facebook” and “Twitter”. Those factories were powering the images on the screen. That’s some heavy shit. I think I might be the man in the chair being conditioned by the consumer industrial complex. Or maybe I’m the complex – I did work at Facebook after all. Or maybe this is just street art.
Checkout more Boise street art on my Instagram:
Falling rocks on Crater Lake Oregon
Crater Lake Oregon formed when a super volcano erupted 7000 years ago and lava sealed the remaining crater. Rain water collected over thousands of years and created the deepest lake in the US. We hiked down 1000 feet from the crater’s edge to the lake, which was pretty intense. There were signs every 100 feet warning us to not stop because of potential falling rocks. Just like society tells you: keep moving on the career treadmill because if you stop to think, you could get hit by rocks like unemployment, slow career velocity, or not living up to your potential. When you get to the lake at the bottom its beautiful, but too cold to swim in. Turns out to be the wrong goal in the first place. We turned around and hiked back up.
We had a fun family canoe trip in the nearby campground down a river with a pretty strong current. Take a listen:
This was a perfect summary of our trip so far: equal parts fun, terror and tears.
Drop baggage on the Oregon Trail
While driving through Oregon, we listened to a podcast about the pioneers who forged the Oregon trail from the mid-west. Marcus & Narcissa Whitman were missionaries who travelled the trail on foot in March of 1836 for over 2000 miles. We heard excerpts from Narcissa’s diary during her epic trip. Learning about the history of a place really makes it come alive. Our blisters from an hour long hike didn’t seem to hurt so much after hearing the Whitmans getting bit by rattlesnakes and forge rivers on their perilous journey. They left their comfortable lives because they believed so strongly in their mission to spread the gospel; also to seek riches in some far off land.
An excerpt from the diary that struck me:
Dear Harriet, the little trunk you gave me has come with me so far, and now I must leave it here alone…. Farewell, little trunk, I thank thee for thy faithful services, and that I have been cheered by thy presence so long. The hills are so steep and rocky that husband thought it best to lighten the wagon as much as possible and take nothing but the wheels. It would have been better for me not to have attempted to bring any baggage whatsoever, only what was necessary to use on the way. The custom of the country is to possess nothing, and then you will lose nothing while traveling. Farewell for the present.
Diary of Narcissa Whitman, 1836
When you’re on a journey to a new place, sometimes the baggage from your old life weighs you down. I need to embark on this trip with a fresh perspective and empty carriage – if I hope to get to a place I’ve never been. I leave you now with the sounds of the end of the Oregon trail: climbing the sand dues down to the majestic shores of the pacific ocean. Enjoy.
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P.S. Here’s this artist’s rendition of our trip:
Samir Lakhani 